Jeb Bush Speaks Volumes

But There Are Problems with the Con-Text

“Jeb Bush sought to cast himself as a political outsider during his first big speech as a presidential candidate on Monday…”

So begins the guardian’s take on Jeb Bush and his brand spanking new campaign. The sub-headline of the article, by the way, refers to Jeb’s touting of his “re-invention of his brother’s compassionate conservatism”.

Look, little brother. To use big brother’s words, either you are with him or you are against him. None of this re-inventing BS.

 

My name's Jeb, ya see, so I'm kind of like an outsider.

The guardian (they don’t capitalize their name, why should I?) goes on to tell us that ole Jeb is trying to “counter criticism that he represents the establishment wing of the Republican party.”

Let’s try to take his word for it, shall we?

“We’ll take Washington out of the business of causing problems,” he says.

Causing problems for whom?

“We will get events in the world moving our way again.”

Ah, got it. That time-honored American ideal of self-determination just causes problems for us when other countries try it.

The lower-case guardian, speaking on Jeb’s speech before it even happens, warns us that Jeb is “due to be joined on stage by his son, Texas land commissioner George P. Bush.”

George P., the Texas Land Commish. No family strings tugging that election along.

Look, Jeb, you’re a Bush. You’re a political insider. Your family has had their Saudi-smelling hands in the US’s habit of causing problems since Samuel P. Bush, grandfather to George H. W. Bush, great-grandfather to you and George W. Bush and illegitimate sire of George H. C. W. T. F. Busch, formed the Buckeye Steel Castings Company of Ohio and began manufacturing weapons for armies on both sides of any war they could instigate. The only thing that sets you apart within the Burning Bush Empire is you don’t have to be identified by your middle initial.

 

See you and the Saud clan at the ranch next week?

“I will campaign as I would serve,” Jebbie tells us.

And that, Mr. Insider, is going to cause problems.

-- By the way...

 

Did you catch that video clip of Jeb telling Pope Francis to stay out of politics?

“I don’t get my economic policy from my bishops,” he says.

Yes, we know. You get it from the Coal & Investment Leadership Forum.

But I’d say Jeb’s

most telling comment

has largely been glossed over.

“I think religion ought to be about making us better people, and less about things that end up getting into the political realm.”

Yes, keep that becoming better people stuff out of politics, we’re busy over here.

Thank you very much, Mr. Former Lehman Brothers and Barclay’s Consultant.